A new schedule

I started keeping a bullet journal in September 2019. A place for daily schedules and notes, thoughts and agendas, I chose a comfortable, black bound notebook and got quite used to using it. Thirty days they say, for something to become a habit.

Moving through this quarantine time, this time of quiet, of the world thrown on its ear, I’m trying to maintain those habits that make the days seem normal. I pull out my black book, running my hand over its smooth cover, sliding the elastic from its corners. The ribbon marks my last visit and the page falls open. Appointments, phone calls, random thoughts fill the paper, marked as to their completion or plans to reschedule. Leafing forward I stare at the pristine ivory paper, lined, calling to be filled.

Our days are different now and like many, I am home. Period. And the busy-ness of a normal life, like a distant echo, fades, replaced by a blank page. In an attempt to populate the day I pick up my pencil.

Read
Study German
Sew a bag for my doctor friend to carry her medical gear while at the hospital
Write emails to representatives: better and more equipment for health care workers
Calls to check up on friends and family
A walk

Adapting to a new pace took about a week though I’m not sure it’ll ever feel completely familiar. The biggest task was somehow convincing myself that it was ok to slow down, to find peace in the process. As a homebody, I’m ok with the aloneness. I am becoming comfortable with the elasticity of a wide open day and there is a delicate dance between creating a pattern for the days and embracing the complex fluidity of this time.

And bubbling up, in the quiet of the morning hour, is gratitude. For having a home to shelter in, for food in the pantry, for clean water from the tap, for a way to find some peace. My pencil hovers and then, is laid to rest.

I step into the day.