Carried

I’ve been out of town for awhile. In Chicago with my son as he has (beautifully) navigates a complicated jaw surgery. We’ve known this was necessary for quite some time. We’ve listened to the list of risks and have taken it all to heart, knowing that while necessary, this surgery is downright frightening. Even in the days, weeks leading up to it I have felt myself preoccupied…drifting off to thoughts of what if’s and logistical questions–how’s this all going to go?

As a mother, even of a 27 year old man, this child will always be my little boy and the thought of putting him into a risky situation wakes me in the night, my brain a swirl of worry. But we needed to do it.

So I’ve been doing my best to align my ducks and prepare to be in the hospital with him, to let go of control and trust the gifted surgeon who would work with us. I’ve let go of schedules and obligations, keeping my eyes on the one thing that’s most important right now–helping my boy navigate this time in his life. There’s a dog to find housing for, there are responsibilities to delegate, there’s a busy nonprofit that needs to be tended in my absence. And knowing all of this, it’s necessary to be able to let go and trust that all will be well.

And truly, with each passing hour and day it’s as if angels are there, taking care of my boy and myself, helping us release what is not a priority and concentrate on our one job at the moment–helping him heal. As I sat in the surgical waiting room last Friday during the 8 hour surgery and additional 4 hours before I could see Alec, gentle nurse liaisons arrived and spoke with me, calling into surgery periodically to let me know that all was going as planned. During the 3 day hospital stay following the surgery, kind hospital staff and our normally fast-moving doctor sat patiently with us and helped us through the questions we had, acting as guides through unfamiliar waters.

At home people picked up the pieces of what I’d left behind. My dear friends took my little dog and when we realized that we’d be in Chicago longer than planned, another sweet friend stepped in and took over with Kyrie.

The Sewing Machine Project work moves continuously, with board members and volunteers working hard on machines and processes and new projects while I am away. When I touch base I am reassured that I’m where I need to be and there’s no need for worry.

It’s truly as if angels are just picking up the pieces of my life and carrying them, carrying us through this challenging time, leaving us free to concentrate on healing. I am moved so deeply by the words and kindnesses of so many and so very grateful for this time and the lessons it contains.