My mother looks at me and asks “how will I ever repay this??”
A little backstory. My father passed away last week. His health had been declining over recent months and my parents’ lives had been an endless stream of hospital, rehab, home nurses, medications, and worry. During that time their neighbors and friends were more present than ever. The walk was shoveled, the roof cleaned off, food was delivered, not to mention countless visits, tender words, and warm hugs. My parents’ friends formed a close circle around them, holding them, collecting them, letting them know in every way that they were cared for.
My friends did the same for me. Checking in, caring deeply for me, just letting me know they were there, as my father slipped further and further…
And as yet another casserole was delivered, another beautiful conversation with a friend concluded, my mother stood in the living room asking “how can I repay them?” And it was time to remind her that it has been part of her all of her life to do these things for others. She has held her friends, she has arranged the meals, she has listened, she has offered her shoulder for crying, for support. Over and over. Karma isn’t about repaying everyone in kind. Karma is about continuing to do for others. Karma is about offering ourselves over and over.
And I know I often lose sight of this. My friends are there for me again and again, offering their arms, offering their ears, offering their shoulders for tears and support when I feel like I can’t stand alone. And I find myself wondering how on earth can I ever repay this?
So I try. I try to be there for my friends. I try to hold myself open to whatever possibility, whatever need there may be. I try.
I only hope that I can do it with even a fraction of the immense grace and beauty with which it is offered to me.